My brothers and sister sometimes dig at my mom for being cheap. We recall having to open the car doors--while still moving somewhat--to pick up bottles lying on the side of the road waiting to have their deposits cash-out. We joke about the time our mom was too cheap to buy some drink called New York Seltzer Water, so instead she mixed Crystal Light with club soda and declared it the same thing. I believe she spent hours on the phone with insurance companies because she was erroneously overcharged some small amount--the arena of 10 bucks or less--for an IV stint.
So, as her daughter, it should be no surprise that I had to spring into action when an unauthorized purchase of Lifesavers showed up at my doorstop last week.
A $3 bag of cherry Lifesavers.
The shipping was $5.99.
That's, like, $9 for a bag of candy.
Umm, no. Not on my watch.
So I looked up my credit card statement, and there it was: the unauthorized Lifesavers via Walgreens pharmancy. Plus, same day, an unauthorized charge of just under $200 to J.C. Penny.
I don't know what that one was for. I never received anything from J.C. Penny. Just the Lifesavers.
So here's the irony: the douchbag who somehow snagged my credit card number and did some sort of J.C. Penny/Lifesavers binge probably would have gotten away with it if they didn't send my that little "thank you" of Lifesavers. (It was my husband's suggestion that the Lifesavers were a "thank you." Really? Couldn't you do better than that?) I mean, sure, $200 is a considerably more significant chunk o' change than $9, but if that was their only charge, I possibly would have glanced over it at the end of the month--maybe missed it entirely--or at least figured I was a bit ADD about remembering what I might have ordered from J.C. Penny. It wouldn't, to be honest, scream "ripped off credit card."
But I can assure you, I never would buy a $3 bag of Lifesavers and pay an additional $6 for shipping. Okay, I might, but it would likely involve considerable and memorable trauma, an act of desperation.
So here's a tip, jerks who want to snag my credit card: don't send me a cheapo "thank you". I'll noticed. And it will piss me off. Seriously, if you would have sent me a $1000 couch or something, I would have let my kids jump all over it, spilled juice on it, invited the neighborhood cats to sharpen their claws on it or whatever. But my kids started begging to eat those $9 Lifesavers, pretty please, I was like, "No way! You are not touching that bag of candy, as I do most certainly did NOT pay for them, and WILL not pay for them, so do NOT open the bag."
Walgreens was very nice about saying they would refund/cancel the charge. My credit card company went though their whole stop/reissue exercise, and I'm not paying for the Lifesavers or whatever was ordered from JC Penny. (What was it? I nice pair of boots? Pretty new bedding? An ugly dress?)
Meanwhile, Walgreen told me to enjoy the Lifesavers. I haven't let my kids know yet, but I treated myself to one. It was tasty.
But certainly not worth 9 bucks.