I don't know if other bloggers do this--or writers, for that matter--but I often go through the day "writing" things in my head. Yeah, yeah--I know this ultimately counts for nada unless I actually get pen to paper (or keyboard to Word, or whatever.) The problem with this is that sometimes I think I have good ideas, and then by the time I sit down, everything fizzles. Also, as an aside, I wonder if other people think this way. I have a friend whose dad is a mathematician, and apparently he would go through the day thinking through math problems. So maybe not.
Either way, I figure my blog title is already a misnomer: What (a) Debbie Does. What I actually do is typically pretty boring. But I have this crazy notion that if I, I don't know, put something out there that I might actually try doing--I'm thinking one of those "out of my comfort zone" ideas--I might feel commited to actually going through with it, so I don't look like an idiot.
Yeah, still waiting to be gutsy over here.
In the meantime, my mom visited this week. By visited, I mean she only lives 30 minutes away, and it was a short stay. She was supposed to stay for her grandchild's music concert, but apparently some music teacher was busy heaving her guts out, and so it was cancelled. Bummer. But my mom got to do her favorite visiting thing: Use my computer!
I remember watching her periodically type things when I was a child. I really don't recall it being the slow, painful, typo-backspace process that it is today. But damn, seems like she's all opposable thumbs on the keyboard these days. (She was never some Joan Harris secretary type.) And what was she so busy typing? Why, "Rules for the Lake!"
(Okay, Mom, what can I say: I immediately feel like parodying your rules. I do love you, I mean no disrespect, but I just can't look a blogging gift-horse in the mouth.
Also, "the Lake" would be a summer home that just transferred from my grandparents to my mom this fall. She's in a tizzy about it. Re-written rules should help, though.)
Here's the original:
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Windows and blinds closed.
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Dishwasher empty
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Waste baskets and trash empty. Trash at the road
Sunday night. Pick up on Monday.
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Refrigerater- perishables taken home
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Tidy up . If needed vacuum and mop floors.
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Towels and sheets washed as needed.
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Bathrooms- wipe sink, floor, shower with Pinesol or
Bathroom cleaner.
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Beach towels drying in garage or put in basket in
garage if dried.
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Lock up. Hope
everyone had fun.
- Close the windows and blinds when you leave. You should be done enjoying the breeze and spying on the neighbors by then.
- Don't leave the dishwasher full of dirty, nasty dishes. While you're at it, don't leave stinky beer cans around. I didn't raise you in a barn, and all that.
- Ditto with garbage...no barn raising, etc.
- Food: if you're going to leave it, please put everything in smaller containers. I really like that. Special bonus points if you repackage liquor in Tupperware! Also, leave crackers and cookies poorly sealed; stale snacks are a tradition around here.
- You might not vacuum much at home, but guess what: these are Mom rules! Use the vacuum.
- Strip the beds and wash them if you've had crazy, nasty sex in them. So what if they've "only been slept in once."
- Make sure you don't leave ugly globs of toothpaste in the sink. "Dab" the room with Pinesol so it smells all clean.
- Leave dry beach towels in the garage. Be gentle with them; they're vintage.
- Lock up--you all had fun, right?
I write in my head. It's always brilliant and perfectly punctuated...in my head. :)
ReplyDeleteThe stuff about your mom keeps coming up and it's so compelling. Seems like an invitation to write a memoir about summers at the cottage with your crazy family. I would LOVE to read that.
xo Jen
Hi Jen!
DeleteThanks for "stopping" by. Yeah, I've considered--even dabbled--in Lake memoir pieces (many food related--surprised? I bet not!) but have no real plan for more at the moment. We'll see.
Good to know someone else "writes" in their head.
I wonder --
if Emily Dickenson--
wrote in her--head--
with dashes--